[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̅]
his is in camp for 4 days, till friday his able to book out; sometimes hearing him telling me that how stress he is in camp, being fk by officer etc.. & for the pass few days my mood was not really good too, & i vent my anger on him :( sorry ! i'm sucha lousy gf , i should have understand ur situation.. (pls don't smoke so much too ) i wish u just can have more "trust& faith " in our r/s .. or issit being with me u feel "unsecured" ?! i'm starting to change..thou i still smoke, drink but other factors .. u knew i "did" i am letting go.. boy, ur really a nice guy ( only at times, i would say ur not initiative enuf but the love u showered me.. do really make me feel ( happy) to have u in my life.. cus, i never had a bf that i would be so honest to say every lil single things and ur the one; i promised not to lie even if my heart changes & i have fallen for someone else i will tell u (: u always told me that " ur used to it , nobody loves u " or mebe i shell put it this way ( i love u but, not as much as u do ) the things u have done, i know u put in effort * money can buy materialistic stuffs & majority of girls prefer "clothes, heels, bags etc " i'm one too! but, i love everything u gave me x3 my ex usually used money to buy what i want , ur exceptional * u do cards , medicine box & alot of things that is now displaying on my table (: i would just smile & tink of u this silly boy :) can't believed that ur younger than me by 1 yr and ur thinking is more matured den me.. we've been tgt for 4mth+ there's alot of things u knew abt me & wad am i thinking.. sadly to say " i still duno much abt u " ur ring size, shoe size , what u're thinking " it seems to slip off my mind * whenever u question me =/ this shows that i dint put in "effort" at all .. or i feel that is just necessary for u to know me.. & tat's all .. i'm so shelfish!! wad u say abt is right, i only know how to think of myself .. wad matter most is " i happy" , i would not considered how u feel.. i guess u've been suffering too, trying to be "perfect" in many ways just to please me !! ur afraid to lose me, u have been trying ur best to accompany me , u smoke bcus of me, u have been quietly enduring my temper & sms-ing me everyday telling me how much u miss me !! and do u know i miss u too! perhaps ur right, this period of time ( we will know, how "strong"is our r/s ) and are we able to be tgt till ur course end ?! think further more ( ur ORD next yr (sept) am i still be tgt with u? or by than we're frens?! sighs, i dare not think so far.. yesterday went to have dinner with darrick at chomp; his another good guy * he took cab down , scare i'm hungry .. hahs, he told me that he hate ppl close to him "smoke" but still.. i'm just social :) aftermaths, met eileen to boat quay ( chamber) drank the left-over bottle.. get to know some frens at there.. keith open red wine for us to drink & i went shebang to drink with zhi-wei frens & i saw vanessa (: eileen was kinda of drunk cus she drank quite alot, sabo by gary .. ha, but she's okay after she puke.. zhi wei sent us to take cab, back home at 3.40am ... terry is suppose to join us, but his sick ._.
2 days more & i will be able to see u :)
i will be waiting for u x3
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